painful

Here is the very heart touching and painful story of widow women who handled so many ups and downs in her life….

this illiterate women made herself  educated at the very old age and proved that ,there is no age limit to become educated..she shared his heart touching and painful story with us..

unforgotten moment of my life:

These are two moments I will never forget “the moment we met and the moment he last breathed”. His death marks the period of my life in very simple ways “before and after”. It wasn’t a demarcation done, it was something that the society imposed on me.

When my husband died ,

After his death, the way people gazed and talked to me changed, even their ways of offering help changed.Before his death, we were a happy family. We lived in a fine rented apartment. My husband worked in a company as the Executive Salesman. It was weird how we being illiterates, and barely aware of this new city were managing to live a fine life. We had four kids, three daughters and one son. We wanted to give them a better tomorrow. And we were working hard towards making it happen, but one fine day my husband suffered a major cardiac arrest. He told me he was feeling pain on his chest. Before I could do anything he stopped struggling and even his breathing stopped. My heart sank but I started speculating things, maybe he has just fainted or maybe something else must have happened, but certainly not death.

I hated all the hopeless faces present in that room. They have accepted him to be dead. But there I was, yelling inside my heart, how you could think like this when my husband is still alive. I urged them to take him to the Hospital. When we reached the hospital, the doctor declared him dead. I was shattered and wanted to end my life right then and there. But I had four kids to look forward to.

Few days after my husband’s demise, I still recall tying my toddler’s shoe lace with tears in my eyes.

We had no single money to pay the fees or to buy food. I asked for some money from my Jija Ji and in return he misbehaved, he told me to bear his wrong intentions and in return, he would bear all the expenses of my kids. My blood spewed up so bad that I couldn’t stop myself from slapping him. Ever since I am not in connection with any of my relatives.

I was left helpless. I had no ideas about what I was going to do to earn a living. I thought I was good for nothing apart from just cooking. As every mother in the village wants her daughter to master the art of cooking my mother personally trained me to do so.

One day a beggar came to my door, I had no money to give him. He looked too weak to continue to stand for more than 2 minutes. So I told him to wait,  I went inside and came out with a plate and offered the food to him. As he ate he looked very happy. That’s when I thought and discovered what I liked doing and what I was good at, it was “cooking”. The art I practiced for 25 years of my life had to be my passion and occupation.

My passion became my occupassion :

I started cooking at a table which was placed at the roadside. My small “Thela” was doing well, fine enough to get my kids educated. But somewhere something was missing, something that I lacked, it was “education”. So I thought of getting an education, and that’s where I  found my teacher, my own “kids”.

When my kids returned home from school, I asked them to teach me. Slowly my interest developed and the urge for education kept growing. My eldest son encouraged me to study. He even made me fill the forms to join school again.

I did my schooling from an open school, and now I can proudly say that I am a high school pass out. I am also planning to fill the forms of graduation from IGNOU next year.

“अक्षर ज्ञान से अंग्रेजी तक, कुछ सीखना आसान नहीं था. पर ज़िन्दगी आसान शब्द का मतलब कहाँ समझती है “

“Everyone suffers grief, but widowhood doesn’t mean carrying a burden, it just means holding your head up high and live like a lady he always would be proud of”.

Key highlights :

  • the moment we met and the moment he last breathed .
  • one fine day my husband suffered a major cardiac arrest.
  • I had no ideas about what I was going to do to earn a living.
  • jija told me to bear his wrong intentions and in return
  • I thought of getting an education.

low female literacy rate: Unresolved Turmoil that needs attention now

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my experiences taught me the hacks to survive: 

From a small Thella to a Dhaba , this little successful and a long journey have altogether changed my life.We still suffer from financial drift. But “ feeding the poor” I will never ever change that.  I never ask for money if someone is unable to pay. I guess that’s how life goes on.

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